Last night i was watching Lindiwe Masibuko (DA national spokesperson) on the Motswako show. Since that "breaking into politics" interview during the local elections, i caught myself nodding my head in agreement when she speaks. But last night she said something during that interview that slowed down my "nodding" (in a good way). She said people usually says that they are inspired by her, and then they would say: "You [black] so clever!". Then my nodding stopped (thoughtfully suprised)!
She went on to say that statements like that is also a form of discrimination. And then my nodding slowly returned. Cause what she was saying, i experienced to be true. I'm a 31 year old, south african coloured guy from Cape Town. And I had to struggle with the "clever issue" for a long time. While in college i felt the need to assert myself in class discussions, feeling that being the only non-white person in class i had to get some attention from my lecturer for something more than my race. I didn't feel clever enough and always thought my white classmates contributions were "very clever". At some point i felt that my contribution is not "good enough" and so i decided to withdraw from class discussions. Thus becoming the coloured guy that seems ok with everything and hating every moment of it.
For a while i blamed my white counterparts and my lecturer for not doing enough to include me. But that only made me feel worse, cause all it brought me was bitterness. And so after a lot of fake smiles and a brief (wannabe) political experience i saw the light!
My lecturer decided to take our class on a "healing of the memories" course. One of their aims is to help participants to confront sources of alienation, misunderstanding and personal suffering. During the course my white classmates were asked to say how they see coloured people. One of them said: "Coloured people are always drunk and they're not very clever." I was shocked, but thankfull for that honesty, cause it broke down certain patterns of thinking. When asked about how i see white people i said:"They always make me feel less." And just there i realised, apartheid said it (Coloured people are dumb) and i believed it. I realised that I had to deconstruct that pattern of believe and choose to see myself as worthy of conversation in any situation. And my efforts were strengthened by great minds like Allan Boesak en Adam Small.
Lindiwe is indeed well spoken and yes very clever. And yes, I am also suprised, not because she's black, but because it's something u rarely see in current south african politics...
